Women and Leadership: A reflection
Why this reflection?
I am writing this reflection in 2023, and I have reached a point in my career where I aspire to be in educational leadership. I have begun the process of seeking my first role, and it has made me think about, reflect on, and learn from my personal journey. A part of this has included reflecting on the various leaders I have worked with throughout my career. Some questions that I have been asking are:
How did each leader make me feel?
What stood out to me about each leader?
Are there commonalities or patterns across the leaders that I have worked with?
Here’s what I’ve noticed.
Female Leaders
Up to this point, I have only ever worked with female principals. The female principals I have worked for are very different women, each with unique and individual approaches to leadership.
Since initially drafting this reflection, I have added other female leaders who have made a strong and meaningful impact on me. Ensuring I include all female leaders who have had an influence on my journey is important to me.
Current and former colleagues who read this post will likely be able to identify certain individuals I am writing about. I’d like to emphasize that my goal is to reflect on my personal experiences and professional relationship with each leader, which may differ from how others perceive each of these women.
Leader A: The No-Nonsense Leader
I had just graduated with my teaching degree, and Leader A was my first principal. I was young and still figuring out what I wanted out of life. In my eyes, Leader A was a strong, outspoken, and no-nonsense leader. She might not have been everyone’s cup of tea, but she didn’t need to be. Still being early in my career, I think she was exactly what I needed because, without her telling it to me straight, I might not have been able to see certain realities with my own eyes.
One thing I remember about Leader A that made me braver in my career was that while she never hesitated to correct me, she also never hesitated to encourage me when she saw something I was doing well.
The type of security that Leader A gave me was two-fold. She was direct, and I never had to guess with her. I knew exactly what she expected and what she was thinking, so I always knew what I was getting into. I also knew that if I ever got into trouble, she would be very upset with me, but she would also be my rock and help me get out of it. I knew Leader A would take care of me, and in my mind, that’s exactly what my 20-something self needed when I moved to the other side of the world to begin my career. Leader A provided me with security.
My big takeaway from Leader A: A sense of strength and security from a leader is invaluable. Take care of the people you lead.
Leader B: The True-Self Leader
I met Leader B at a recruitment fair. I remember how this particular interview felt different from many other interviews I had been through. Sitting across from her, I didn’t feel like I was being tested or quizzed; it felt like a conversation. I listened as much as I spoke, and I left with a very clear sense of her thoughts about the school. She didn’t try to paint a perfect picture. Instead, she wanted to make sure that I knew exactly what I was walking into if I accepted her offer. I was grateful. I accepted the offer, and everything was pretty much as she described when I arrived. This gave me a sense of trust in her words from the start.
I only worked for Leader B for two years, and despite our brief professional relationship, she was as genuine and real as they come. It isn’t out of the ordinary for leaders to carry themselves in two very different ways between professional and personal settings. However, Leader B didn’t feel like a different person between these two worlds. I always felt like I was getting her true self. Leader B was open and capable of vulnerability. Because of these traits, I valued her feedback, I listened when I received constructive criticism, and my trust in her was steady. Her humility was something that made me feel immediately at home with her from day one. Working for Leader B, I never felt I needed to hide anything from her.
My big takeaway from Leader B: Humility strengthens relationships and trust; our humanity is what connects us.
Leader C: The Storytelling Leader
Leader C was someone who knew exactly who she was and where she wanted to go. She could communicate that vision so clearly that you wanted to be a part of it. Even when I disagreed with her decisions, I respected her. Her clarity and precision in explaining the “why” behind her choices made that possible.
What made her stand out was her ability to communicate through stories. Whether in a one-on-one or in front of the whole faculty, she often began with, “I want to tell you a story…” Through these moments, she shared glimpses of what she believed, what shaped her thinking, and what she was still learning. Her stories helped me understand not just who she was, but also who I was. They made me reflect more deeply on my own values, beliefs, and direction.
A highlight about Leader C is that she led with joy. On many occasions, she walked around with a bounce in her step, either singing, dancing, or both! She intentionally cultivated joy, ensuring that while we worked hard, we had multiple opportunities to have fun together, too.
I’ll always be grateful to her for opening the door to the technology and design coaching role. I don’t remember her exact words when she offered it, but it was something like, “You have this opportunity now. What you make of it is up to you.” At that moment, I felt like I couldn’t let her down, and hopefully, I haven’t.
My big takeaway from Leader C: Share your stories so people know what you stand for as a leader and a human.
Leader D: The Steady Leader
At first, Leader D was a mystery to me. What stood out immediately was her unwavering poise. No matter the situation, her tone was calm, and her words were expertly chosen. Talking to her was like being in a superhero movie trailer. The mysterious superhero looks at you and says, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this,” winks, and then walks away to deal with business. That was the energy I felt around her, mysterious but powerful.
Leader D is the principal I have worked with the longest. I had to ask myself, what about her made me stay at this school for so many years? The answer: trust. Even when I didn’t know all the moving pieces of a situation, she would ask me to trust her, and every time, she delivered (just like in the movies!). She has my back and will get the job done.
Time has been a friend to our professional relationship. The shifts in my role have allowed me to work more closely with Leader D. What stands out about my relationship with her is that I sense her trust in me more than I have had the opportunity to feel with past leaders. Time likely plays a significant factor in this, but more importantly, I have always felt that she hears me and takes the time to understand my perspective. Ultimately, it is powerful when you feel a leader has trust and faith in you. This has given me confidence, bravery, and empowerment on numerous occasions.
My big takeaway from Leader D: the roots of trust grow deeper through your actions; build trust by showing it. This can only strengthen the team you are cultivating.
Leader E: The Compassionate Leader
My professional relationship with Leader E began in a less formal capacity. She was my team leader when I moved into the technology coaching space, and we were a small team of two. Working with her, I always felt we were equals. I looked to her for mentorship and guidance as I was very new to the role and the space at the time. Perhaps our personalities just gelled, but it felt like we connected into a very safe and trusting professional relationship very quickly. This was fortunate since we really only had each other on the team! I attribute how quickly we connected to her kindness and openness.
Initially, I was still figuring out my identity as a coach. On several occasions, I fumbled, and every time, there was Leader E, ready to offer an ear, provide an empathetic response, and guide me in figuring out what I needed to do next. On one particular occasion, I made a mistake that impacted her directly. She could have gotten mad, and she would have had the right to. Instead, she wrote me a long and thoughtful email explaining how my actions had impacted her. I was distraught and disappointed in myself. I wrote back to her, apologizing, but to her, it had passed, and our relationship was okay. I will never forget how in awe I was of her ability to be in tune with her emotions, express them without shame, and then move forward without holding on. Leader E has shown me this amazing side of her time and time again since.
I am so fortunate to have worked so closely with Leader E because I would not be where I am now professionally without every open and honest interaction, shaping and influencing my identity as an educator and leader.
My big takeaway from Leader E: Emotional intelligence is a superpower in leadership. It will build strong and genuine connections that last.
Leader F: The Empowering Leader
Leader F is the central administrator with whom I have connected the most. She entered our school with an infectious enthusiasm, ready to tackle challenges head-on. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in a mood other than positive and motivated.
Connecting with leadership at her level could have felt intimidating, but she made it easy. She was approachable, engaged, and always willing to listen. Because of this, I felt comfortable sharing my ideas with her, and in return, she empowered me to pursue them and take on leadership. Whenever I needed guidance, she provided it, ensuring that my work was not only valued but also supported.
Leader F encouraged me to take ownership of my passions, and greater than that, she created space for me to grow as a leader. Sometimes it was simply with her words, “Just do it, try it out. You’ll only learn from the experience and improve it.” At other times, it was to create opportunities for me to lead in spaces I would not normally be able to access through my day-to-day role. She made me feel capable, seen, and valued.
My big takeaway from Leader F: Empower those you lead and lift them up. Nurturing their passions makes them feel seen and valued.
The Last Question Left…
As I come to the end of my reflection, there is one question left to answer:
Were there any patterns?
Yes. Here are two big ones:
While it was for different reasons, I trusted and felt safe with all of them.
In their own ways, they all made me feel seen.
While I do not actively keep in touch with the leaders from previous schools, I feel that I could reach out to each of these women at any point, and they would be there for me. I feel extremely fortunate that I can say that.
The bigger question: How has working for women leaders impacted me?
Being able to see female leadership throughout my career has been extremely empowering. It is a key reason why I feel that I, too, am capable of leadership. What I have learned from these women and want to carry into my own leadership are:
Human-centered leadership
Building trust through my actions
Empowering those I serve
Valuing perspectives
Fostering strong relationships by listening with empathy
A Moment of Gratitude
I initially drafted this post in 2023 during my work in the Women Who Lead Certification Course by Eduro Learning. Since then, I have edited this post several times and added more female leaders to the list. Each edit was a reflection. It is important to me that I clearly articulate how each of these women has impacted me.
I have saved the publishing of this post for the moment I finally secure that first leadership position. So, to all the leaders who have mentored, guided, supported, and challenged me, thank you. Today, I am proud to share that I will be moving into the role of Head of Lower School at Green School Bali.
I am so deeply grateful for the experiences I have had through the leadership of these women and will strive to keep each and every one of them with me as I move forward in this new role.